|
|
relating to time
Feature article from Active Voice Creative Director, Elaena
Gardner.
When I was about 15 years old my grandmother sat me down for a
heart to heart. She was concerned that my constant eye on the future
would see me wishing my life away. She warned me that when I was
her age time would zip by; a year would seem like no time at all.
I couldn't begin to understand what she meant. A year was forever
and as far as I could see the freedom I craved was still at least
three forevers away. Now, 22 years later, I think I'm finally getting
it.
Like many friends and colleagues I look back on the last 12 months
with astonishment. Was that really a whole year? When I look in
detail at the things done, then yes there seems to be a year's worth
of busyness in there - new projects won, worked on, completed and
the next phase begun; a few hesitant starts at different types of
meditation and yoga; a host of celebrations; a few paintings started
and a few less finished; lots of new places explored; about 60 books
read; 300 sudoku puzzles completed; and a new approach to spirituality
explored, considered and abandoned.
But also in that reflection is a deep-seated dissatisfaction. I
think Diana Hunt expresses it well.
|
|
I have joyful, happy memories of my busy 2005. But I think I failed
to really savour most of the experiences. Even in the midst of the
most enjoyable moments, my mind was mostly focussed on the next
task - anticipating it with fear or joy, planning for it, imagining
scenarios.
I managed to jam pack most of my days with activities and my head
with projections and plans. I suspect that as a result my experiences
were a bit shallow. And that's why I feel surprised and slightly
resentful that a whole year has passed. It's not really about the
length of time or the number of things done but about the depth
of experience in each moment.
So my reassessment of time is going to be two pronged.
I'm going to savour empty spaces. I will not attempt to fill every
hour of my waking day with activity and stimulation. I will take
time to just be and I will notice what that's like. I'm guessing
that sometimes it's going to be hard.
I will also be more consistently present. I will use the stuff
I have learnt in meditation to focus on the where, how, who and
what of that moment. I'm guessing that my success will be patchy
- especially at first.
I figure that even if I do it imperfectly, it could make a difference.
How might you enter into a new relationship with time?
|
 |